. I no longer enjoy food that I used to eat before without feeling overwhelming amounts of guilt and anxiety. These comments on my weight loss only serve as a reminder of how much more weight I have to lose to finally feel content in my own body and with my appearance. The worst part is they also make me very anxious at the thought of putting on weight again because I am afraid that I will be told that I should lose weight again”.

 

“I had lost a lot of weight before the pandemic started and many people complimented me and said that I looked healthy and fit”, says 17-year-old student Joey. “Then, the lockdown started, and I started to put on weight while I was at home. When restrictions were eventually lifted, I was embarrassed to interact with others as I was afraid that people would point out that I had gained weight. I avoided meeting people whenever I could and wore loose dark clothing. It took me several months to understand that it is normal and absolutely alright to gain weight and that I should never be ashamed about my body changing and functioning healthily. It is really sad that people do not hesitate before casually passing such comments and also that it happens so often especially amongst Indian society.”

 

“Commenting on someone’s weight loss should never be a compliment because how can anyone know under what circumstances the other person has lost weight? It could be because of a physical or mental illness and comments such as these do more harm than good. I have a medical condition due to which I was told that I had to lose weight by my doctor”, says 24-year-old Priya. “Several people commented on my weight loss, but it never made me happy. All I could think about was how I wished I could be healthy enough, so I didn’t have to lose this weight in the first place. People pass such comments without intending to hurt another, but they end up unconsciously reinforcing the idea that one can only look beautiful if they comply with what society says beauty is supposed to look like”.

 

“I was just beginning to feel confident with my body until a colleague at work said that I looked great and asked if I had shed some weight. I hadn’t. I laughed it off and said ‘I wish’ while internally I felt horrible, says Sneha, a 31-year-old who works in Bangalore. Commenting on someone’s weight loss is NOT a compliment and should never be used as such”.

 

“Someone told me that I looked ‘healthier’ and ‘happier’ because I had lost weight”, says 27-year-old Ina. “The truth was that I was smoking excessively to curb my appetite, skipping meals continuously, and restricting calories to lose weight. I wasn’t healthy nor was I happy, not at all”.

 

“I was told by a family member to stop eating so much at Thanksgiving because I had to fit into my Christmas outfit. What makes it worse is that I was a teenager at the time and that no one came to my defence and laughed it off as a joke”, says 23-year-old Charlie.

 

I had lost a couple of pounds and someone came up to me and said "Wow, you look so good, it's as if you lost weight because you have a boyfriend now", says 21 year old Priyanka. Multiple emotions raced through my head- shock, disbelief and anger. Are fat people unworthy of being loved and being in relationships? This person didn't say it out of spite, nor did they intend to be rude, fat phobia is just so deeply ingrained, that people pass comments such as these thinking that they are compliments.

 

To conclude, if you really want to compliment someone, refrain from commenting on their bodies. With everyone facing silent battles with their physical and mental health in today’s current times, we need to be kinder to ourselves and to the people around us, now more than ever.